Hubby got my daughter pregnant

Dear Bunmi,

Six years ago, I made a terrible mistake and married a man who has repaid my trust by constantly sleeping with my teenage daughter.

The poor girl was 13 when we got married. I also have a younger son. My husband was never married but had four children by three women when we met.

At first, the marriage was blissful as he had a good job and was a caring father.


He continued to be responsible and I had two more children by him.

I never suspected any untoward thing was going on until my daughter, who was in her last year at Secondary School, was sent home.

She was found out by the school doctor when she complained of severe abdominal pains, and it was discovered she had an incomplete abortion. I was really gutted not knowing more shock was in store for me.

After quizzing and threatening my daughter, she confessed the culprit was her step-dad! I asked her if she had any proof and she showed me all the money she had hidden away in her suitcase.

I asked if she noticed anything different about him and she confessed he had a mole on his private part. She was right.

At first my husband denied having anything to do with her until I made my daughter describe his anatomy. Because of him, the poor girl spent days in hospital so that her womb could be cleaned out.

I don’t love my husband any more and have since moved out. But what happens to the two children of the dead marriage?

Bayode, by e-mail

Dear Bayode,

What a devastating blow your experience must have dealt you. This sort of male behaviour happens all the time unfortunately, but that doesn’t make it right.

You’ve been betrayed by the closest to you in the most cruel way and have done the right thing by putting a wide berth between the two of you. Your concern now is how to put your poor daughter back on the right track so she could be emotionally stable enough to continue with her studies.

As for the two other children of the marriage, they belong to your husband too.

No matter how resentful you are about what he’s put you through in the past, you have to really meet up and decide on what future arrangements both of you have for them.

You said he is a financially responsible man and there is no doubt he’ll take care of his own kids the best he could.